To be a parent, yes a responsible parent, is an outstanding fit. But to be a mother is extraordinary. A highly exigent task. All thanks to divine Providence for having the prospicience to give mothers this innate ability. Though few mothers have not truely realized they have an indefatigable capacity to handle their children, even adult children as hard-headed and pragmatic as my dear friend Chimankpam. Now that was on a lighter note.
If you are a man or you are a woman that is yet to be a mother, you might not know what it takes, because you can’t learn it. You become it. Happiness is one of the most endearing and meticulous ladies i have met. Imagine, immediately her boyfriend proposed to her, she told me she was going to enroll in a mothering class. I had to ask google to see if such exists. Well, i saw something close to it, but not in Nigeria. You might want to google ‘mothering touch’ yourself. Interestingly, i saw ‘become a dad’ as one of the menus. But Happiness was only going to stay with her elder sister who has three kids. Two weeks down the line, she said, ‘wait, let me become a mother first’, how interesting.
Now, if you had seen how this mother cried because of how close death came to her daughter, you might have a mild, yet insightful idea of what it takes to be a mother.
Dotun was only two inches away from death. Real distance two inches. While she was crossing the Lekki-Epe high way, with her mother at the other side, her slippers cut. Then she fell on the road like a slate. The high way. A car was coming at full speed. Her mother was also watching, restlessly from the other side. I can’t actually describe her mother’s demeanor because i wasn’t there. But you should have an idea of what it looked like as you read on. The car stopped exactly two inches away from Dotun, who was haplessly on the ground, waiting to be crushed.
Now when Dotun’s mother gave the testimony in church, yesterday, she had not spoken a word before she started crying. Then she held Dotun to her chest. Note, Dotun is a grown up. A young adult.
To shed tears is different from crying. For an adult to cry, you will know without been told that something had happened. And then, when she started unleashing encomium on God, you will want to find out the severity of what had happened. Interestingly, Dotun had thanked God before her mother started. But she spoke with this regular visage. The one people put on when they want to testify that another bus hit the side of the bus they were sitted. Not too grim and not insouciant.
The thing is, your father will not cry because you could have died and you did not. You yourself might not also cry because you were at the very fingertips of death. But mothers do. Not because they have a soft heart, but because they are mothers.
Now, what does it take to be a mother? Well, i still don’t know.